Living Away From Home

When I was 10 I auditioned for ‘Sylvia Young Theatre School’. I wasn’t really expecting to get in but I did and at the age of 11, I moved to London.

I moved into a massive boarding house with 20 other kids in the middle of London. It happened quite quickly really. I got accepted around May and then had to prepare myself for living away from home. I was petrified but I remember feeling so excited, it was always such a treat to go to London for a few days and now I got to live there, 5 days a week!

My dad is a train driver and I was under 16 so luckily for me my train tickets from Wales to London only cost £2 each way. I drove to London with my Grandparents and my Mum for my first week there, but the week after I had to start getting the train every Monday and Friday by myself. (although I did force my Grampy to come with me the first time, bless him). I had just turned 11 and I was commuting like a pro. It was scary, though and looking at 11 year olds now I am in awe at myself that I managed to navigate myself through Paddington Station alone. Being small had its perks, I could weave my way through people quite quickly even though my suitcase was usually bigger than me, and Train Managers would always check on me and ask if I wanted to sit in a carriage nearer the driver but I was ok, Carriage D was always my Carriage of choice, I would not be moved.

In my first year I shared a room with two other girls and we got on like a house on fire. We discovered the TV show Pretty Little Liars and watched it religiously. We were there through tears of missing home to tears because of boys. One of the girls actually sat in bed and sang ‘Wake Me Up’ by Ed Sheeran every night for a week because her boyfriend from home broke up with her and because of that I know all of the words to that song now.

In the rest of the house there were around 8 boys and another 9 girls, we would travel on the bus together every morning and take up the whole of the top deck much to other commuters' disgust. It was fun though and by knowing people in the years above me it helped me to feel less intimidated around the school. I definitely struggled being away from home but luckily I got to go back every weekend so it was only 4 nights away. I am always so bewildered about how brave some people are when they move away. I couldn’t imagine going a week without seeing my mum so to the people who manage to go over a month - you are doing amazing!

Year 9 was when boarding started getting mental; one of the girls who I shared with originally left, so it was just Tash (my OG room mate) and I. Luckily some new people joined so our room of 2 was now a room of 6. I think a lot of people are scared that they won’t like the people they have to share a room with but spending 24 hours 5 days a week with someone definitely helps to start a friendship. Sharing a room with 5 other girls has definitely taught me to have a lot of patience and I am now very tolerant of other people, even when they are being unreasonable or annoying, it doesn't phase me.

The Boarding House had a lot of rules - some good some bad. One of the main rules was that boys and girls were not allowed to be in each other's rooms. This was great but sadly one of my roommates did not follow that rule and me and the other girls heard some very questionable noises on some nights … if you know what I mean! We also weren’t allowed food in the bedrooms, but we did sneak food in. I can’t count the number of times I got caught eating a chocolate bar, and at some points even a whole cheesecake. This means that I am the CEO of hiding food/drinks on my person. The worst rule was not being allowed our phones at night, we would have to nominate one person to be allowed to keep it, this was the alarm person. It sucked because if you were upset or unwell you couldn’t message your mum crying. There were some ways around it, we could go on our laptops but if you typed too loudly you’d get your laptop confiscated too. That was always such a bummer.

Like I said in my first blog post, being surrounded by friends 24 hours a day is a massive distraction. There was no time alone with your thoughts, even when showering we used to either keep the door open or one person would sit on the toilet seat and chat to you. It felt like such a bubble, not just my Boarding House but even in the school itself.

Our school had around 250 students, there were about 40 people in my year so it was really small and compact. I think maybe being in such a bubble didn’t help when I went to a different sixth form and moved out, it was so hard to adapt to a school that had over 500 students and be in a different environment. I do find though that at the time I really enjoyed my High School. A lot of people really do struggle but I really enjoyed it. I had great friends and (some) of the Teachers were amazing. My Spanish Teacher was my favourite. I miss her. The teachers that weren’t so great were the ones who asked me if I wanted to look nice on a beach as I cried over press-ups.

Thinking back though whilst I did enjoy my time there it was quite damaging for me. Recently I’ve spoken to some people that were in my form and I’ve found that a lot of people suppressed their feelings and their mental health because of it being such a bubble. As soon as we were taken away from that bubble, it was really hard to come to terms that some of us had been struggling for a long time. Speaking about it was so helpful and as one of my friends said ‘I always find it validates your own feelings when others can relate’. Talking really does help and you never know, your best pal in school might be having a rough time and just wants to have a chat. Be open, it could be a massive healer.

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Peace,

Cadi x