Putting Pressure on Yourself

My mum had me when she was 24 so as a kid I used to imagine I also, would have a child at 24. Now I am 20 and I could not imagine having a child in 4 years’ time, at all. I’m definitely not ready yet but I still feel like my time is running out to have a solid career, have a child, and get married.I’m only 20 though, so why do I feel like my time is running out?

I think some of the pressure I feel could come down to social media, seeing people my age buying a house, and having well-paid jobs is hard when you feel like you’re doing the best you can yet people are still doing better than you. I think that’s just the perfectionist in me, I need to be perfect at everything and sadly I know that this is not the reality. Just because someone on your Insta has a home account, doesn’t mean you need one too...yet. My mum always tells me to ‘Go at my own pace’ and that’s what I try to remind myself every time I get anxious about feeling like I’m running out of time.

Twenty isn’t old, I’ve still got time to figure out my career path but it’s hard to feel like you still have time when people constantly ask what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. I’ve now realised (through a lot of trial and error) that the best answer to ‘what’s your plan for next year then?’ is ‘I’m figuring it out’ that way, no one can knock you for trying. So what if you’re 25 and in between jobs? So what if you’ve turned 30 and are still happily single? Who cares? Really, who is that interested in your life that they are going to judge you for not reaching a certain ‘milestone’? Everyone has their own lives to deal with so if you are still in limbo with where your life is leading to then so be it.

It’s been hard turning twenty and watching some of my friends go to Uni whilst I stay at home and wonder what’s next but I’ve accepted that everything happens for a reason. I’ve had to learn to be kind to myself and accept that my time will come to do certain things and until then, I’m just happy to be alive and healthy. I know I'm not running out of time, I've got years to figure out who I am and what my life will be like.

Dolly Alderton said it best ‘ if this is all there is - just me and the trees and the sky and the seas- I know now that that’s enough.’

Peace,

Cadi x