Male Body Image
Updated: Nov 19, 2020
Rhys Payne is one of my best friends and I was so excited that he wanted to talk on my blog. I’m so happy he agreed to talk about Male Body Image, there really aren't a lot of people who are open to talking about their body image, especially men. I wish younger boys had more resources available to them so that they could read and learn from other Men about issues surrounding their Mental Health but there really isn’t a lot for them, so I hope I (with the help of my pal Rhys) can try and help with that problem.
This is what he had to say:
‘When I was a child, I used to have to go to ‘special’ shops to get my uniform and often I couldn’t keep up with the kids who were playing football. So I was always aware that I was a bit different. I did join Slimming World and that worked for a bit but I slowly put the weight back on. I thought I had it under control but the thought of ‘I’m bigger than the average person’ was always in my head.
I don’t constantly think or worry about my body but it is something that I’m always aware of. I think about my body a lot more when I’m going shopping because there are people in the shop who can just go in, see something they like and buy it whereas I have to rummage through the back of the rails or just accept that they don’t have my size. So in those types of situations, I think about it a lot more, and again I think ‘oh I’m not the size of an average person’’ and that does make me wonder what shops/companies think the average person looks like.
What I’ve realised, is that it’s always the fat person who plays the funny character. They’re never the object of desire; they're the sidekick. Whilst it’s great that movies have people of all shapes and sizes, it doesn’t show what bigger people are actually like. A bigger person can fall in love, they don’t just have to be funny all the time. Normally the main character is ripped or has a six-pack and i think well if that's what society thinks a man should look like then what do they think I am?
There’s a lot of body inclusivity campaigns on Social media but the majority of them are catered towards women. I love that there are body inclusivity things happening and women deserve to feel empowered but I do wish there was more for men. I don’t blame the lack of this solely on Social Media/Big companies, I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that men just don’t like speaking about their feelings, especially feelings surrounding their own body. I do have friends that I can complain to when I’ve put on a bit of weight but I don’t think I’ve spoken to a male friend seriously about it. It takes one person to start a conversation and I wish more men would speak to each other about their feelings. I hope that by speaking up now I can help at least one person who is struggling.
When I feel bad about my body I try to have a self-care day, I do a face mask and moisturise and I really enjoy that. I would tell someone that I’m having a self-care day but I wouldn’t tell them that it’s because I felt insecure about my body. When you look great, you feel great and you want to show the world how good you look, but when you think you look bad you hide away a bit more and I wish I could change that for everyone. You need to be lifted up more when you feel bad, you shouldn’t have to hide away until you feel good again.
I have this mindset that I’m always going to be a bigger person and the way I look at it, you have to be happy with yourself first before thinking about making a change. I’m happy with the way I look and if I was to lose weight or gain muscle, that would be great but I’m not trying to do that because I’m happy with the way I am. ‘
If anyone would like to DM me about their experiences you can use my insta @letsbecandid_ or email me @firstname.lastname@example.org
Peace, Cadi x