Romantic Movies

I’m a sucker for a romantic-comedy movie. I love them. Growing up, some of my favourites included Pretty in Pink, The Notebook, and Four Weddings and a Funeral. My favourite RomCom of all time though is called About Time, and if anyone ever has something bad to say about it I will personally fight them. If you haven’t watched it you need to. Regina George and Bill Weasley falling in love is honestly 10/10. Anyway, I’ve watched a lot of romantic movies, and wanting the relationship that they had in some of those movies was something I would think about before falling asleep. I honestly thought a kiss in the rain was waiting for me somewhere but now I am 20 and if my boyfriend tried to kiss me in the rain I would have to politely decline due to the sheer embarrassment of PDA. Another thing I have realised now that I am older is the really poor examples of relationships being shown on screen. The amount of (mainly) male characters that behave horribly in the movies I once considered to be ‘goals’ baffles me! What kind of example are we setting to young people if the relationships they show on screen are emotionally abusive and kind of creepy? So I am here to highlight some really problematic movies and I’m sorry in advance if I mention a movie you love but, find a new movie (like About Time).

A major example of emotional abuse being portrayed as ‘romantic’ is in the film The Notebook. It is full of problematic themes, and whilst Rachel McAdams will always have my heart, Allie and Noah should not be considered ‘goals’. Noah literally threatens to kill himself whilst hanging off a big Ferris Wheel if she doesn’t say yes to going out with him. People, listen to me, if someone says they will harm themselves if you don’t do what they want that is not ‘goals’ and it’s emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse is not something that should be romanticised, and I learned the hard way. You don’t need to do something you don’t want to just because you’re scared to hurt the other person. Saying no when someone is being aggressive takes a lot of courage and I wish more people could say no without being scared of the outcome. For example in the Kissing Booth Movies, the character Noah is so manipulative. I find it hard to watch. I’m all about loving a piece of fiction and movies taking you to another ‘world’ but when a movie highlights themes that hit really close to home it’s hard not to feel angry that something that has made you feel upset in real life is being romanticised in front of millions of people on Netflix. An ex of mine used aggression as a way of making sure I stayed with him, hitting the steering wheel and banging the side of the car door when I refused to get in a car with him. This exact situation happens in The Kissing Booth when Noah shouts at Elle to get in the car after a fight, he even bangs on the car door. I’m supposed to watch this and think how cute it is? How does that make sense? Young girls are watching these movies where emotional abuse is being normalised and I would hate to think that they think this behaviour is ‘normal’ and cute.

I feel like movies can and should do better. I want to see more movies where romantic relationships are shown to be real and normal, where the girl doesn’t go for the ‘bad guy’ and a movie where she decides that actually, no boy is better than a shitty one. Be more like Elle Woods, don’t give in to the Warner’s in your life. They are so not worth it.

Platonic love is as good as romantic love, you don’t need a partner to feel whole and that’s why I love films like Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion and BookSmart, whilst I suppose these movies could be seen to appeal to more of a female audience, I’m sure there are films about male best friends (the only examples I can think of is The Goonies and Lord Of The Rings but please DM me if you have any suggestions)!

Bottom line is; I love movies but I want to see better messages in films. I want to see better examples of relationships and quite frankly I’m done with the whole ‘good girl turns bad boy good trope’. Hollywood, do better.

Please DM me any movie suggestions you have, any ones that you’ve thought WTF or any ones that you think are good at portraying love. I’d love to hear them.

Peace, Cadi x